Episode One

Paddy: Hello both watching and on stage crowd! And welcome to my talk show where I take in fan mail, read them and respond to them! I will also talk about some topics, (whispering) but we hadn't any topics yet. So lets get into the mail! So fo-. Oh. So what’s your question I guess...

Patrick: Where is everything?

Paddy: Um-

Director: (Loudly) And moving on from this stupidity!

Crowd Fish #1: Hey! Don't be such stupidity yourself!

Paddy: Anyways, let’s read the first letter!


 * Hi paddy. Love your show. Im just wondering, how did you get so smart at your age?


 * From locknloaded23

Paddy: A. Thanks for the support, but B., I am just gifted with this genius brain! Some even are shocked that I can talk at four years old, not even with the high vocabulary! Also my parents give me our computer, so with other sources, I have a huge knowledge base. Moving on to the second letter:


 * Hello Paddy, I was wondering on how you know that Patrick has his own shows in different timelines? Do you have an inter-dimensional traveler or something on those lines?
 * From Sandy.

Paddy: Well, I do have something like that! It is the Inter-Dimensional Transporter Machine. It is in my very secret, special lab! Also with that, I know, Sandy that y-

Backstage Fish: (whisper) Are you going to really say that, to Sandy? That fact already distributed me, so would it be a great idea to share it to everyone?

Paddy: Well, no.

Backstage Fish: (whisper) So why even bother?

Paddy: Okay. Anyways! Let’s move onto the next letter:


 * Dear Paddy,
 * I got a quick question that has bugged me for a while.
 * Do you like yourself more or Patrick more?
 * For me, you're better then that Barnacle-Head! Your intelligence as a great
 * charm to your nice personality. Anyways, I hope you agree will me.
 * From Squidward.

Paddy: First, what is with the format? It is for the kings, as in an attempt of a very professional letter? Second, thanks for the complaint about my charm in my personality! Third and final, Patrick is very stupid, but it as a charm at times, but he can also be a big fat jerk.

Patrick: Hey!

Paddy: Moving ont-

[Phone ringing]

[Paddy takes the phone] Squidward: (on the other line) Hello, I just want to say that his stupidity tortures me to death, with that SpongeBob.

Paddy: Okay, but it is not a g-

Director: (goes on and takes the phone) Bye and just please watch our show with no complaints, everyone has opinions.

[The director throw the phone off-stage]

Paddy: Um-

Director: For the good, Pad, for the good of the show.

Background Fish: (off-stage) Really?

Director: (off-stage) Yes, for the time slots.

Paddy: So moving on to the next letter:


 * Hello Paddy,
 * What is your greatest pet peeve?
 * From SB.

Paddy: People Who are